Give me a Dollar

Overheard from the other room Kelsi says "Karli If you give me a dollar I will be nice to you."

:O I promtly informed her that that's what bullies say and that it was very rude!!

Check the Ingredients

I'm quite health conscious and try to pay attention to what is in the foods we buy. So, we're shopping at grocery outlet and Kelsi (who is now 5) asks
"Mom are the ingredients in this okay?"
I say "let me look" then I notice what she has handed me, it's a cupcake kit that makes filled cupcakes, So I'm looking at the box...
She interrupts "mom the ingredients are on the side over there, you are looking at the instructions."

LOL Thanks kid, I explained "Kelsi I was seeing if it was something we could make at home easily, because they have a bunch of preservatives and junk in them."

Here's my girl by her birthday piñata I made her.

Hot and Cold

In the car I said I turned off the AC I was hot. I meant cold but said it wrong Matt corrects me and says "You turned AC off because you were hot?"
Me "Whatever, you know what I meant. I was cold."
Matt "You're hot and you're cold you're yes......" (quoting the song)
Kelsi from the back seat "You mean you're warm? Hot plus cold equals warm. Now you know so you will get it right."
Matt and I laugh and Matt says "You're awesome Kelsi."

Word play

Kelsi- "Mom I got you a diaper"
Me "I already have a diaper"
Kelsi "Half a diaper?"
Me- "No I HAVE a diaper"
Kelsi- "Half?" Grinning ear to ear.

Perhaps I've got to stop teasing her....or not, I love word games.

She says "Mom can I have a towel"
I say "a cow?"
Her "A towel!"
(she pronounces towel correctly but also says "cow" like "tow") She's totally catching on to word play and why pronouncing words correctly is important. Now that she's learning to read she understands that she is saying things wrong sometimes and will tell me "I tan't twite say it right"

Eating Animals

I showed Kelsi a pic of a tiger online.
She asks "Is it dead?"
Me "No it's not dead."
Her "It's just in the snow?"
Me, "Yes"

I caught a fish, with my bare hands on the dunes. I pick it up and show it to my kids and they ask
"Can we eat it?"
Me "No, you can't eat him, we're gonna let him go at the lake and let him go and have a chance of survival"
They were genuinely disappointed.

To review this situation, animals are dead and can be killed to eat them and cows eat chicken.......yeah, somethings wrong here?!?! Somehow I have raised children simply by not hiding that they are eating the type of animal when they eat it, we do not hunt, they have never seen an animal slaughtered. Yet they totally grasp and accept this idea and are fine with it.....fascinating.

Exasperation!

A glance into daily life with an OCD preschooler and a havoc wreaking toddler.....Life is NEVER dull :D

Cows eat Chicken, Yeah.

Karli "Mom I are eating cow."
Me (raises eyebrow) "Cow?"
Karli "yeah, it's cow"
Me "That's Chicken Karli."
Karli "Yeah, but cows eat chicken."
Me (laughing) "Really Karli? Cows EAT chicken?"
Karli (laughing) "Yeah, they did one time at the painting place."
Me "What painting place? Cows eat grass."
Karli "Yeah, but one time cows eated chicken, and chickens eated grass, and worms."
Me "sure Karli, but you are eating chicken, and it was not eaten by a cow, you are eating it, and it ate corn, probably."

Kelsi On Babies and Children

Kelsi "I'm going to have 15 children some day."
Me "Wow, that's a lot of children!"
Kelsi "Or maybe one hundred children"
Me "How are you going to get 100 children?"
Kelsi "They will grow in my belly and then I will have them."
Me "How will you feed that many babies?"
Kelsi "I will have one hundred plates"
Me "How will you put food on the plates?"
Kelsi "with a Spoon"
Me "Where will you get the food to put on the plates?"
Kelsi "From my garden."
Me "Where will you get the plants for your garden?"
Kelsi "Maybe I will just shop at the store for food"
Me "Where will you get money to buy the food from the store?"

There's a MOP in the Bathroom!!

Karli comes running to the living room "Mom there's a mop in the bathroom come look!!"
I go, Kelsi goes, Kaleb goes
Karli "it's right there!!"
I don't see it so I bend down and theres a moth on the under-side of the sink.
Me "that's a moth Karli" as I pick it up by a wing "Want to see it?"
I show them Kelsi and Karli are afraid, Kaleb thinks it's hilarious and bounces up and down laughing. He stops and asks "is it?"
I tell him "It's a moth, want to touch it?"
He grins ear to ear and leans forward I let him touch it.
I have it tickle his hand with it's wings and tell him it's "moth kisses" finally Karli is willing to touch it and exclaims "he's softy!"

Karli rambles What?!?!

I'm taking a bath....alone....and in walks Karli, through the LOCKED bathroom door.

She pierces the silence "Mommy,  why were you sleeping in the bath?   *silence*  One time you sleeped in a bed I like you sleeping in bed better. Cuz one time you leaved to go the the store, and you leaved me and I fought you were leaving me and never coming be *pause* Then there would only be daddy and brother and me and Kel like when you goed into the store and I wanted you to bring me. So I yelled "mommy" and you didn't come and that maked me sad, yeah (tears welling up in her eyes) I want you to never leave again, and take me wif you and brother and Kelsi. Mommy can I get in the bath wif you? Theres room right there. And I'm small and can I bring my toys in and play with them......."

I swear it was the longest most thoughts out one-sided conversation and I listened to see if she was going anywhere with it....I think she just wanted to talk.

What's your Name?

Kelsi to a little girl at firehouse "hi, how old are you?"
Girl "i'm 5"
Kelsi "I'm 4, but i'll be 5 soon. What's your name?"
Girl "Emma"
Kelsi "I'm Kelsi Louise Flanders. What is your Flanders name?" 
Girl "mom?"
Emma's mom looked to me for clarification.
Me "She's asking last name."
Emma's Mom "She's Emma Davis"

Sparkling pee

Karli runs into the living room "Mom I peed out sfarkles." In a tone that said she was quite impressed with her newfound ability.
I ask "You what?!?!?!"
She says grinning from ear to ear "I peed sfarkles"
I clarify "You peed sparkles???"
(then I remembered had cleaned up a glitter mess off the floor and shook the rag over the toilet and not flushed) I chuckled
She then took her sister to show her the sparkling pee. Kelsi was very impressed. I looked, laughed and flushed the sparkly pee.

Pop Sickers

I'm making myself pot stickers for lunch cuz my children don't like them so I try not to make them with dinner too often.
Karli says "I like pop sickers"
I ask " Since when?"
Karli "I eated them the last day"
I ask "and what day was that?"
Karli "Friday" (pause) "or fursday, yeah"
Me "Karli I haven't made them for like 2 weeks"
Karli  "But it were Friday"
Me "how do you know?"
Karli "because"

Melted

Me- "Kelsi, what is ice when it melts?"
Kelsi-"Water"
Me- "And what is ice cream when it melts?"
Kelsi "An empty cup, or an empty bowl"

Meet Their Daddy

I asked Kelsi and Karli Questions about their daddy these were their answers....

ASKED KELSI
What is Daddy's name? "Daddy, Matthew, Matthew actually"
What does Daddy do for fun? "He goes in the sand dues and he rides on dune buggies"
What does daddy do at work? "He drives dune buggies"
What are dad's favorite foods? "uuh, hmmm, a roll up with cheese and ham and tomatos, and he loves mandays, mayonnaise" 
What does daddy like to drink? "he likes a soda"
How old is dad? "like 20" How old am I? "25" 
How tall is Dad?  "Like this tall, very tall he can reach the lightbulb without reaching, like 20 feet tall, or maybe 14 feet"
What is dad's hair like? "It's like getting your round and round with a haircut, like a merry go round with a haircut"
How much does daddy weigh? "40 pounds"
What is the best thing about daddy? "that he loves to just jump rope and we we just do it up and down and up and down and he jups and if he can jump over it he wins"
What is your favorite thing to do with dad? "just, I love to play with daddy with those beads over there (Points at glow in the dark air soft bb's)"
How long have you known Dad? "a since, like Karli's birthday"
When did you and Daddy meet? "I meet him......long pause....when I were a baby?" (she was confused by this question)

ASKED KARLI

What is Daddy's name? "He a Matthew

What does Daddy do for fun? "he like's to work"

What does daddy do at work? "He just rides a dune buggy at work

What are dad's favorite foods? "He likes the Casino just like I do, we love it"

What does daddy like to drink? "He loves to drink soda"

How old is dad? "He's like that old (5 fingers) just like my sissy is" 

How tall is Dad? " he's like that tall, how taller than I am"

What is dad's hair like? "His looks like that (rubs her head) He shaves it"

How much does daddy weigh? " He weighs 14pounds, just like I weigh 14 pounds , yeah that's right"

What is the best thing about daddy? "that he puts me upside down and flings me upside up"

What is your favorite thing to do with dad? "Take him to the zoo with me"

How long have you known Dad? "I known him like that tall" 

When did you and Daddy meet? "I meet him at the zoo one time"

Questionare.....Kelsi and Karli

I separated my girls and asked them a series of questions, exactly the same These were their answers written word for word as told to me:

ASKED KELSI
What is your name? Kelsi K-E-L-S-I"
What is your favorite color? "pink and green"
 Who is your best friend?"Karli"
How old are you?"4"
What is your favorite animal?"A giraffe and an Elephant"
What do you want to be when you grow up? "I want to be a princess"
What is your favorite Movie?"My favorite movie is Mary Kate and Ashley"
What is your favorite book?"Clifford, Clifford book"
What makes you happy?"That my sissy shares with her teddy with me sometimes"
What makes you sad?"That my, that you, if everybody if you just don't leave me down out in the car. " (she is afraid of strangers/ figments of her imagination and does not like to be even 10 feet from us in unfamiliar areas)
What is your favorite food?"Macaroni and Cheese"
What is your favorite song?"La, La, La, we love you in the morning, la la la le la we do it in the morning and la la de de la lo and when Hailey comes and when we la la lal la la le lo..........that is my song and that is the end and it is a lullaby and I maked it up so my brother will fall asleep"
What is your favorite game? "Hopscotch"

ASKED KARLI 
What is your name? "Karli, I'm two and I'm Karli" (she's 3 and held  up 3 fingers to tell me 2, I told her count her fingers she counts 1-2-3 )
What is your favorite color? "My favorite is the color like the ceiling"
 Who is your best friend?"I don't know." (ran to grab a teddy)
What is your favorite animal?"my favorite animal runned away from me and I don't know where he went."
What do you want to be when you grow up?"I want to be a giant teddy bear when I grow up"
What is your favorite Movie?"I know, Pippi Longstocking is my favorite movie, Yeah"
What is your favorite book?"mine is spooky little tree to we dare go in the spooky little tree, yes we dare"
What makes you happy?"a song makes me happy"
What makes you sad? "When I don't like ghostes, or a bear, or I don't like elmo or I don't like robots and then a monster comes and then I hide under your blanket that's what I really don't like and it makes me sad"
What is your favorite food?"Mine is the casino, my favorite food is the casino"
What is your favorite song?""Mine is about, I know, It's about Pippi Longstocking"
What is your favorite game? "I love to play a game what's a kid game that I really love, and if I buy a game computer"

Carrots

So today for lunch my kids had PB&J, Apple slices, and carrot sticks.
Karli says (to Karli) "I don't like carrots."
Kelsi replies in a motherly tone "Karli, you have to eat carrots so you can see WAY FAR."
Karli says "I can ALREADY see way far!"
Kelsi says "But CARROTS make it so you can see WAY WAY far."
Karli says "I'll just use nockburs (binoculars) you can eat the carrots."

Making coffee

Me "ugh I want coffee"
Karli jumps up "I'll make you some"
.....5 min later!=.....
"Mom I can't reach the cups"
So I go in there to help her.
She opens the can of coffee and says "there no more coffee"
I say "yup it's all gone"
she holds both hands up amd drops them down all exasperated and says "But you NEED some" and gets teary eyed.

Clearly my coffee intake is VERY important to her.

Directions

"Mom you need to keep this number so if I get lost you can call it."
Me- "how about you remember daddy's number and call him"
Kelsi "He won't have a mat."
Me "a Mat? you mean a map?"
Kelsi "No, I mean the directions, like the way you go, like left, right....the MAT"
Me "yeah Kelsi, That's called a MAP with a P"

Onions

Karli and I were waiting at the doctors office browsing a magazine. We come to a picture and I ask Karli "What is this a picture of?"
She says "A cupcake with a cookie on top" (it was a pic of a muffin)
Moving on "Karli what is this a picture of?"
Her "I don't know, I have no clues."
Me "What do you do with it?"
Her "put it in a bowl"
Me "Why?"
her "to eat it"
Me "you eat it all by itself just in a bowl?" ( i was hoping for cut it up put in soup, or in something else.)
Her  (chuckles) "no, You use a fork"
It was that scope ad where the scope goes through the onion like a bullet.

Vegetarian

Kelsi didn't want meat in her taco tonight so I asked "Are you a vegetarian?"
She replied "What's a vetatarinin"
Daddy replied "Someone who won't eat yummy cow bites."

Where's the remote?

"Kelsi where is the remote?"
Kelsi- "I don't Know. I have no clues. You should probably keep it out of reach of childlens. Or maybe just Karli."
I just laughed, and she asks "what?"

Kelsi saw a Church

My mom was reading Kelsi a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle book and it was talking about Mrs. Piggle Wiggle going to church.
Kelsi interrrupted "I see-ed a church one time!!" all excited.
mom and I just chuckled.

Nightmares (Kelsi)

Kelsi just woke up and came to the living room pouting and I figure she's just not wanting to go to bed I ask her "what's wrong?"
She replies  "Mom I think my head thinked of a big scary guy that look-ed like a sheep thing and eated my bike outside.....I think my head thinked of this" She says with her lip quivvering but smiling a "why would my head think of that look of confusion smile"
I just gave her a hug and told her "You sure have a silly head don't you." 
And then we laughed because why would a sheep eat her bike, he'd much prefer grass.

It's Christmas

Well, not really, it's snowing.
Kelsi tells me "Mom it's Christmas, Santa come-ed and bringed us snow"
Me "Kelsi it's not Christmas, we took down the tree"
Kelsi "No mom it's REAL Christmas today"

While getting boots on:
Kelsi "Daddy It's Christmas"
Daddy "Kelsi Christmas and snow have nothing to do with eachother do you understand that?"
Kelsi "yeah, but their kind of the same, like it's same diff"