Haircuts, Standing up to Pee and Fatty Santa

GRR while putting Kaleb down for a nap my girls found scissors in my room from me wrapping presents. They cut their hair!!!
I say "show me where the hair is!!" because I can't find it....there are only 2 tiny tufts and Karli's head tells another tale.

(this is the trying not to smile because I know i'm busted look)

Kelsi tells me "No, you stay here, i'll go get it you will be mad it's alot of hair"
I say "SHOW ME." very sternly.
she does. It was hidden in a corner of their room........
I tell them "Nap time!!" and walk away.....I needed to re-gain my composure.
They wake up a few hours later and disappointingly her hair is still butchered :( So I take her and comb and cut a little (trying to make it blend) and call up my sister and really stress on the solution for a good few hours.....I must buzz it off, or give her an awkward mullet type hair-cut... I decided on the Buzz....this is also not the first time she's cut her hair, so I really wanted to make sure she wouldn't do it again.
So I call Karli in and tell her "I'm going to buzz all your hair off like a boy"
She reacts by crying and saying "NO NO NO" (this was the first moment she was not laughing or trying not to smile about the whole thing.)
Commence Buzzing and me explaining that there was no other way for her hair to look nice and not chopped.....that this is why only hair specialists like Auntie Nicole get to cut hair.
Kelsi walks in the room and i tell her "you're next, I don't know who cut your sisters hair and it's not fair for her to have to have a short boy cut and not you"
she ran to daddy and cried "But I love my long curls I won't cut hair anymore" 
Half way through the cut Karli's eyes light up and she says "Now I can stand up and pee?"
I just rolled laughing, I had to stop cutting. I just chose to ignore the question and got back to cutting her hair. 

In the end I actually really like the resulting hair-cut. It's no longer in her eyes and she's not a boyish girl so it looks good on her. 
So....I call Kelsi in and say "your turn"
she continues in her "no, I love my curls"
And I tell her "If you cut ANYONES hair again, I will shave yours off!"
She promised not to.
So I think I got my point across and I doubt either of them will use scissors for cutting hair again....I HOPE


To make it sink in more, and because we have an Elf on our Shelf.....He flew to the north pole to report their behavior to Santa and Santa sent back COAL as a reminder to be good. 

(Coal is in the little red bag)

Kelsi opens it up with her sister and I say "oh no santa must have sent you coal to remind you to be good"
Kelsi says "we can still play with it" as she tries to draw with it
it doesn't draw because it's plastic coal.
I say "Santa's coal isn't that kind of coal"
she says "oh well I don't like Santa, he's just a big fatty!!"
I say "Oh so you dont think he should give you another chance to get your walk behind puppy?"
She says "I will just give him this coal right back when we go see him cuz I don't like him he's a fatty"


She is currently in there convincing the elf that she is good "Hey Elf, I are a good girl but you can keep you lump of coal for ever and ever!!" and singing to him "Come on fly to me fly to me I like you elf so fly to me, fly to me, fly to me elf, Please fly to me Elf."

Zombies

"mom I don't want to go to bed because there are Zombies in my room"-Kelsi
"what are Zombies?"-Me
"they are zombies" -Kelsi
"um, OK???"-Me
"they Zomb you like zomb zomb zomb"- Karli
"and what is Zombing?" -Me
"I don't know" -Kelsi
"then why are you afraid of it?" -Me
"cuz your asposta be afraid of zombies" -Kelsi

Easter bunny

First off, I suck at this whole keeping presents hidden until whatever holiday....I got my mom a present today and called her to tell her what I got her...that's just the way I am...


Kelsi found some sidewalk crayons I got awhile back and 
I told her "they are for easter the easter bunny will bring them when the weather gets nicer" 
she asks me "well, what are you doing with them then?" 
I told her "I'm saving them for him"
She says "why can't I just open them now"
I say "because the weather is not nice yet"

Last Ones the Rotten Egg (AKA Beat Brother)

Thanks mom for this idea years ago :D
Anyhow, I have implemented this method as an attempt to get Karli to stop dilly dallying and buckle up Well, Kelsi is GOOD at it and almost always gets the advantage (she can open her door and her car-seat is easier to buckle) anyway....I am encouraging "last one buckled is the rotten egg, Karli hurry hurry buckle buckle"
Kelsi proudly announces "I'm buckled"
Karli still isn't even 1/2 way done.....
So I say you can still beat your brother Karli, beat Kaleb beat Kaleb" as I struggle to buckle him up in a quick manner.
so the un does what buckling she had done and starts gently smacking Kaleb....and laughing...
"what the heck are you doing?!?!?" I exclaimed
she says giggling "beating my brother"
Oh geez "Karli I ment beat him getting buckled....not literally to beat him"


Seriously time like this have me wondering about her!! LOL

Screwing it Up

I'm watching my friend Tiffany's children and we're picking up a bit so that there aren't quite so many toys out, I take on screwing this toy back together which by the way is a must buy for anyone w/ boys, well shoot, anyone w/ kids beyond choking age....but anyway I've taken on putting it back together. 
Kelsi brings me the screwdriver and tell me "mom I want to screw it up"
I chuckle and say "it's already screwed up, I'm putting it back together"
She says "I want to screw it like, screw, screw"
I chuckle again and tell her "sorry hon, I'm going to do this part this time and you can pick up the cars"

Tiny Christmas Tree

Kelsi found a tiny tree outside the library and pointed it out to me.
I say "yup it's a teeny tiny Christmas tree"
She replies, "well it better grow up fast so we can use it!"

Eating Boogers

I was cooking dinner and discussing which veggie to cook with Karli.
I said, "well it's broccoli or boogers" Basically I like to throw in off the wall things and see how my girls respond or what they'll do.
Karli says "Noooo, we don't eat boogers"
I replied "I do!!"
She says "OH, you want me to get you one?" as she simultaneously shoves her finger up her nose to fish one out for me.
I told her "No, I only like MY boogers"
She asks "Oh want me to get one out for you?" and tries to shove her finger up my nose LOL
I said "No I was just kidding, we don't eat boogers"

Matt and I were recently discussing, we won't freak out on our kids if we catch them eating their boogers,  given it's not in a public eating facility or you know, grandma's house or something. Basically the way we see it its their own boogers and they are entering the safest part of their body to kill any accompanying germs, plus, we've got bigger fish to fry!

Cruddy mom

Helping the girls pick their after lunch piece of candy I dumped out the bucket and saw a butterfinger.
I said "ooh this ones mine" turned to the girls and said "pick your pieces"
they chose and I scooped the rest back to the bucket put it back up and said "hey wheres my candy bar? Crud! I must have put it back in the bucket"
Kelsi replies "yeah, your a cruddy mom thats why!"
I laughed and said "gee Thanks!!"

Eating Ears and Eyes

"Mom, when we eat our lunch can we have a piece of candy?"
Me "sure"
Karli "one time we eated candy's ears" 
Kelsi "and I eated the eye but I spitted out part of it"
Me "you guys are so mean!! Why would you eat someones EAR? how are they going to HEAR?"
Karli sits with an evil grin and laughs
Kelsi looks concerned and says "It was candy"
Me "so you think you can just eat Candy's ear?"
Kelsi "It was for Halloween"
Me "oh, so it's ok to eat peoples eyeballs and ears on Halloween? What are you a cannibal?"
Kelsi "Mom, it was candy, from halloween and I spitted it out"
Me "So you just rip off ears for fun?" 
Karli Laughing says "yeah I like ears!!"
Kelsi then caught on that I was teasing....but was still concerned that I thought she ate someones actual eye/ear!!

The Evolution of Halloween (in the eyes of Kelsi mostly)

First Halloween children are dressed up purely for the novelty of the mom, they know nothing of candy goodness.

The following year (age 15mos) Kelsi knocked on the doors to trick or treat and then proceeded to sit on the porch and dig through her bucket of candy to choose a piece to give the the person at the door.

The next year she was all about the "ding dong's" and super happy to ring to doorbells and slightly less enthusiastic about the candy. We went to many doors and the first one without a doorbell Kelsi was unsure what to do so I told her to knock, she did. As the guy answers the door she announces very loudly "Yer don't have a Ding-Dong" the man looked at me puzzled and I busted up laughing, and explained "you're the first house that didn't have a door-bell, she calls them Ding-dong's" He got a huge kick out of it, as did I.

This year she was a pro! Knock on the door, "Trick or Treat" and get Candy.......wait, did I say Candy?? I mean get candy at all the houses that candy was the ONLY option, when given the choice Candy or an apple BOTH my daughters this year chose the apple!! The Lady at the door remarked "you are the first two children to choose an apple" Kelsi replied "yeah, we sure do love apples" And both my daughters were equally happy to announce the peanut butter crackers/apple they got at the door as they were the candies. Both insisted on getting their brother candy and talked about how they were going to share with Daddy and Ribbit Grandma when they got home.