There's a MOP in the Bathroom!!

Karli comes running to the living room "Mom there's a mop in the bathroom come look!!"
I go, Kelsi goes, Kaleb goes
Karli "it's right there!!"
I don't see it so I bend down and theres a moth on the under-side of the sink.
Me "that's a moth Karli" as I pick it up by a wing "Want to see it?"
I show them Kelsi and Karli are afraid, Kaleb thinks it's hilarious and bounces up and down laughing. He stops and asks "is it?"
I tell him "It's a moth, want to touch it?"
He grins ear to ear and leans forward I let him touch it.
I have it tickle his hand with it's wings and tell him it's "moth kisses" finally Karli is willing to touch it and exclaims "he's softy!"

Meet Their Daddy

I asked Kelsi and Karli Questions about their daddy these were their answers....

ASKED KELSI
What is Daddy's name? "Daddy, Matthew, Matthew actually"
What does Daddy do for fun? "He goes in the sand dues and he rides on dune buggies"
What does daddy do at work? "He drives dune buggies"
What are dad's favorite foods? "uuh, hmmm, a roll up with cheese and ham and tomatos, and he loves mandays, mayonnaise" 
What does daddy like to drink? "he likes a soda"
How old is dad? "like 20" How old am I? "25" 
How tall is Dad?  "Like this tall, very tall he can reach the lightbulb without reaching, like 20 feet tall, or maybe 14 feet"
What is dad's hair like? "It's like getting your round and round with a haircut, like a merry go round with a haircut"
How much does daddy weigh? "40 pounds"
What is the best thing about daddy? "that he loves to just jump rope and we we just do it up and down and up and down and he jups and if he can jump over it he wins"
What is your favorite thing to do with dad? "just, I love to play with daddy with those beads over there (Points at glow in the dark air soft bb's)"
How long have you known Dad? "a since, like Karli's birthday"
When did you and Daddy meet? "I meet him......long pause....when I were a baby?" (she was confused by this question)

ASKED KARLI

What is Daddy's name? "He a Matthew

What does Daddy do for fun? "he like's to work"

What does daddy do at work? "He just rides a dune buggy at work

What are dad's favorite foods? "He likes the Casino just like I do, we love it"

What does daddy like to drink? "He loves to drink soda"

How old is dad? "He's like that old (5 fingers) just like my sissy is" 

How tall is Dad? " he's like that tall, how taller than I am"

What is dad's hair like? "His looks like that (rubs her head) He shaves it"

How much does daddy weigh? " He weighs 14pounds, just like I weigh 14 pounds , yeah that's right"

What is the best thing about daddy? "that he puts me upside down and flings me upside up"

What is your favorite thing to do with dad? "Take him to the zoo with me"

How long have you known Dad? "I known him like that tall" 

When did you and Daddy meet? "I meet him at the zoo one time"

St. Nicholas Day

So, My sister told me about St. Nicholas day, I'd heard of it before from my few German friends, but had forgotten, Well, it's December 12th....St Nicholas day is December 5, but that doesn't really matter because well, My daughters are 4 and 3, I'm pretty sure that they won't remember what day they got treats in their shoes LOL.
Anyhow...I'm taking a Bath after dinner and I tell my girls "hey, go get one pair of shoes and put them outside your bedroom door because today is St. Nicholas day and if you were good you will get a present in your shoes while you sleep"
So.....minutes later, Kelsi returns with one pair of shoes. Karli returns with 4 pairs!! (this is the same child who can NEVER find her shoes when I ask her to get them on before we leave the house) and asks "What if I have lots iv shoes?" with this HUGE ornery grin on her face.
I without hesitation reply "Do it and find out!" (totally had a plan here)
They went to bed with their shoes like this:

And will be waking up with their shoes like this:

I strung them up with fishing line and alternated with candy canes.

Except for one pair, which has their gifts from St. Nicholas:

Butthead Hair-do

"Mommy why did you put my hair in a bummel?" (her word for Bun--IDK why)
"Because I wanted it to be all pretty for your dance recital"
Kelsi- "Bummels make me kinda like a butt-head"
Me "what? why?"
She says "see, feel this hole in the middle it's kind-of like a butt-hole so now I'm a butt-head"

Team UmiZoomi

Kelsi says "mom why don't you let me watch toomie youmie youmies" (I know she means Team Umi Zoomi)
I reply "Because I haven't watched it with you yet to see if its a show I approve of"
She says "Can we watch it when we get home and see if it's ok?"
I say "Sure, we'll Google it and see if it's one I think is a good show"
She says "Well actually mom it's on TV, not google, so you have to use the remote"

Seeing Santa

We go to see Santa in Old town, and he arrived by Fire-truck (so double-cool in the eyes of my children) When it's our turn to see Santa Kelsi hops right up on his lap and
He says "Merry Christmas and what would you like for Christmas?"
Kelsi promptly replies "a walk ahind puppy"
To which he says "a walking puppy, good choice"

 Then Santa turns to Karli and asks "and what would you like for christmas?"
to which she replies grinning "poop"
Santa looks to me for clarification as Kelsi busts up laughing and Says "poop Karli?"
They both giggle uncontrollably and I turn red and giggle as well. (I think Santa turned red too)
then Karli says "or a walking puppy" and that was that.

Haircuts, Standing up to Pee and Fatty Santa

GRR while putting Kaleb down for a nap my girls found scissors in my room from me wrapping presents. They cut their hair!!!
I say "show me where the hair is!!" because I can't find it....there are only 2 tiny tufts and Karli's head tells another tale.

(this is the trying not to smile because I know i'm busted look)

Kelsi tells me "No, you stay here, i'll go get it you will be mad it's alot of hair"
I say "SHOW ME." very sternly.
she does. It was hidden in a corner of their room........
I tell them "Nap time!!" and walk away.....I needed to re-gain my composure.
They wake up a few hours later and disappointingly her hair is still butchered :( So I take her and comb and cut a little (trying to make it blend) and call up my sister and really stress on the solution for a good few hours.....I must buzz it off, or give her an awkward mullet type hair-cut... I decided on the Buzz....this is also not the first time she's cut her hair, so I really wanted to make sure she wouldn't do it again.
So I call Karli in and tell her "I'm going to buzz all your hair off like a boy"
She reacts by crying and saying "NO NO NO" (this was the first moment she was not laughing or trying not to smile about the whole thing.)
Commence Buzzing and me explaining that there was no other way for her hair to look nice and not chopped.....that this is why only hair specialists like Auntie Nicole get to cut hair.
Kelsi walks in the room and i tell her "you're next, I don't know who cut your sisters hair and it's not fair for her to have to have a short boy cut and not you"
she ran to daddy and cried "But I love my long curls I won't cut hair anymore" 
Half way through the cut Karli's eyes light up and she says "Now I can stand up and pee?"
I just rolled laughing, I had to stop cutting. I just chose to ignore the question and got back to cutting her hair. 

In the end I actually really like the resulting hair-cut. It's no longer in her eyes and she's not a boyish girl so it looks good on her. 
So....I call Kelsi in and say "your turn"
she continues in her "no, I love my curls"
And I tell her "If you cut ANYONES hair again, I will shave yours off!"
She promised not to.
So I think I got my point across and I doubt either of them will use scissors for cutting hair again....I HOPE


To make it sink in more, and because we have an Elf on our Shelf.....He flew to the north pole to report their behavior to Santa and Santa sent back COAL as a reminder to be good. 

(Coal is in the little red bag)

Kelsi opens it up with her sister and I say "oh no santa must have sent you coal to remind you to be good"
Kelsi says "we can still play with it" as she tries to draw with it
it doesn't draw because it's plastic coal.
I say "Santa's coal isn't that kind of coal"
she says "oh well I don't like Santa, he's just a big fatty!!"
I say "Oh so you dont think he should give you another chance to get your walk behind puppy?"
She says "I will just give him this coal right back when we go see him cuz I don't like him he's a fatty"


She is currently in there convincing the elf that she is good "Hey Elf, I are a good girl but you can keep you lump of coal for ever and ever!!" and singing to him "Come on fly to me fly to me I like you elf so fly to me, fly to me, fly to me elf, Please fly to me Elf."

Zombies

"mom I don't want to go to bed because there are Zombies in my room"-Kelsi
"what are Zombies?"-Me
"they are zombies" -Kelsi
"um, OK???"-Me
"they Zomb you like zomb zomb zomb"- Karli
"and what is Zombing?" -Me
"I don't know" -Kelsi
"then why are you afraid of it?" -Me
"cuz your asposta be afraid of zombies" -Kelsi

Tiny Christmas Tree

Kelsi found a tiny tree outside the library and pointed it out to me.
I say "yup it's a teeny tiny Christmas tree"
She replies, "well it better grow up fast so we can use it!"

Kelsi was a great sister from Day 1

Sure, My girls fight, and Kelsi will tell Karli to get into something that she knows I told her no to....and then I think back, to when Karli was born.


My husband came to visit me and Karli but because of the "swine flu" junk Kelsi could not come in.
I went out to the waiting area to see her.
I go give her a Big hug and say "i miss you big girl"
And Kelsi (2yrs) says- "where Karli go?"
I reply- "the nurses have her"
She says while pushing me away "well, go get her"
I explained that Karli was sick and she says "go mommy" 


I loved how understanding she was even at such a young age of the needs of a baby. 

What's that??

Starting back at old stuff they've said and will add in some current events as they unfold.


Kelsi how she learned how to actually tell boys from girls.


Kelsi (2) Walks in to our bedroom and my husband is just getting out of the shower, 
She asks "what's that?" as she points the straw she was just chewing on at my husbands penis.
My husband and I become like deer and headlights desperately looking at each other for an answer, we had not yet decided what to call it nor did we figure she would notice it anytime soon.
She chimes in "a tail?" and continues on her merry way. 
Meanwhile my husband and I about die laughing. 


On that day my husband became super private and Kelsi never brought up daddy's tail again. Occasionally she would see him getting out of the shower or walk on while he was peeing, 


Fast forward---
Kelsi (3.5) welcome new baby brother!!
He's wonderful, he has a belly cord which she thinks is nasty, and what we have chosen to call a penis, no hiding it during diaper changes!!
Well, his belly cord fell off and Kelsi says to her sister and I overhear
"Kaleb had a belly cord and it fell off and he has a penis and it's gonna fall off" 
I butt in "Kelsi why do you think his penis is going to fall off??" 
she replies "well his belly cord fell off and now he has a belly button so his penis will fall off and he will have a 'gina"
Me- "honey it doesn't work like that, Kaleb is a BOY"
Kelsi- "yeah, he has short hair" 
Me- "yup he does" and I dropped it.


Fast Forward---
Kelsi (4) "mom, Kaleb is a boy, daddy is a boy, you are a girl, Karli is a girl, and I am a girl"
Me- "what makes you so sure, I think you are a boy" I like to tease her
Kelsi- "no I a girl"
Me- "What makes you a girl?"
Kelsi- "I have long hair." 
Me- "well the little boy at the doctors office had long hair, was he a girl"
Kelsi- "no"
Me- "And grandpa has long hair is he a girl?"
Kelsi- with exasperation "NO" 
Me- "so how do you know they are boys?" 
Kelsi- "I don't know but they are."


Yet Another day---
Kelsi- "mom, Kaleb has a penis, Karli, you and me have 'gina's and Daddy has a tail"
Me (thinking UGH this again?!?!) "Kelsi daddy does not have a tail"
Kelsi- "Yes he do, it right here in his front." (as she points on herself)
Me- "that's not a tail Kelsi" LMAO
she just gave me a look of sheer confusion and slight annoyance, apparently I do not know my husbands body, and clearly she has a long memory!! 


Over the last 2 weeks and i'm not sure the exact conversations, but she now knows that boys have penises and girls have 'gina's that they are both private parts. I tried to explain that only mommy and daddy can wipe or clean her and that she needs to tell me if anyone touches her etc... She is young so IDK how well she got that part.