Cottage Cheese

This morning Kaleb spit up on his chin, Kelsi gags and says "mommy he puked"
I tell her "It's just cottage cheese" as I wipe it off
She says "no, it's puke" with a disgusted look
Matt asks "where do you think cottage cheese comes from?"
she says matter of factly "Safeway"
So I ask "so where do you think Safeway gets their cottage cheese?"
she replies "Maybe from Fred Meyer?"
so I ask "and where does Fred Meyer get theirs?"
Kelsi with a gross look on her face says "I don't know"


No wonder Safeway's food is higher priced, they buy it at Fred Meyer!!!

Accidents Happen

I spilled milk and Kelsi tells me "Accidents happen mom" in a matter of fact tone.
I say "what?" 
She tells me "Accidents happen mom, it's O.K. just get a towel and clean it then you can get more milk" 

Sleeping in Two Places

Kelsi wakes up and walks into my room Crying "mom where's Tarli?" legitimately concerned
I reply "In her room, on her bed."
She goes and checks and reports back seriously distraught "mom her wented to sleep on the floor and now she's in her bed and thats TWO places! that's not OK!" 
I give her a look like your kidding me, RIGHT?? She's GOT to be kidding here!!  And I inquire "Kelsi, where are we supposed to sleep? The floor or in bed?" 
She says "she was supposa stay on the floor cuz we don't sleep in TWO places." 
Oh Geez!
So I gave her a hug and calmly explained (between chuckles) that I had moved Karli to her comfy bed before I went to bed and that it was in fact NOT the end of the world and assured her that Karli would in fact wake up even though she had slept in 2 places. 

Days of the Week

Kelsi has become very interested in what day it is. So I have begun singing "Sunday Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and Friday, Saturday is the last day, and I can say them all"


So I sing "Sunday Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and Friday, Saturday is the last day, and I can say them all" and ask "can you say them all Kelsi?"
she replies "no, I can't"
I sing again "Sunday Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and Friday, Saturday is the last day, and I can say them all" and ask "can YOU say them all Karli?"
to which she replies "yeah, Them all" with a Gigantic grin.

Broken Body

I was surfing the internet and watching TV, it's late, but Kelsi being slightly ill took a nap at 5PM... so she's  up. Anyhow, We are looking at cool baby stuff and a new episode of NCIS starts, we are watching, they discover a dead body it goes to commercial so we return to looking at more baby feeding stuff.
Kelsi breaks the silence and inquires "mom why is that body broken"
I reply "uhhh well honey because it's dead"
She says "why did it die"
I say "because it was it's time, a person decided he wanted to break that body"
She says "why"
I reply "I don't know, but how bout you choose a different channel"
the lesson, Kelsi really does pay attention to what she sees on TV and after hours it's either food network or her choice  :O.

Pee on You

More teasing from Karli. 
Karli likes to pee on stuff, I read this is normal.....FOR BOYS. She is not a boy. She will take a diaper and pee on it, get in the tub and pee there instead of the toilet, Power trip? test of rules? completely normal "phase"? IDK. Either way, it's a work in progress....Pretty much problem solved by now! 
Anyhow, Miss ornery EVERY time I say "I gotta go pee" (yes, I announce) she races me to the bathroom Grins this HUGE grin and pulls her pants partially down and back up slowly "I'm gonna pee on you mom" LMAO!! All I can do is laugh, she's totally teasing me. 

Ornery Delux Karli

Geez sometimes I don't know if she is teasing me or if she really doesn't know. I am home schooling, in a very light and playful sort of way---no real structure just yet... So I bought these "Brain Quest" cards for ideas, Kelsi flies through the 5-6 yr old ones with flying colors. She can match rhymes and colors, counting, adding, the whole 9 yards, aside from telling time on a standard clock and money (now I know what to introduce)
Back to Karli, I go through the 2-3 yr old deck and she gets a huge grin and says the MOST off the wall responses.

this bird lost a leaf.

this is a giraffe! (I ask her what does a Giraffe look like, she says "a horse")

So yeah, I know she is smart, she is witty, but she also does not let that on!!

Negotiations

Kelsi says "daddy will you sleep in my room?"
Daddy says "maybe we'll see"
so she bribes "you can use my pillow, the one what haves princesses on it"


Just what every daddy wants LOL

Surprise

So I got Karli's birthday present already....And I had it "hidden" in the trunk. We are driving home from the store.
So Kelsi says "mom I want to see Karli's present"
I reply "no because it's a secret"
So she whispers "what is it??"
I say "I can't tell you"
She whispers "you can tell me quiet" Remember she is in the back seat I'm in the front...I can hear her
I chuckle.
She whispers "you tan whisper it to me cuz thats a secret"
I reply in a loud whisper "no I can't because you will tell Karli"
She says "yeah but she can still open it" 
I say "that defeats the purpose of a surprise" 


Kelsi ended up seeing it.....it's a dolly set that Kelsi REALLY wants she thinks it's a great presnt that Karli will like......and I'm working on the don't tell Karli part.....Gotta love 4 yr olds!!

Just pout!!

So Karli peed her pants a tiny bit (literally so small of an amount that her pants were not even wet) so We finish shopping and get in the car, I tell the girls 
"get in and buckle while I put the groceries in the trunk"
I load check buckles and get in.
Kelsi tattles "Mom Karli sayed she peed in her pants because she didn't like that store"
I Said "oh, well she also must really like sitting on her bed because peeing on purpose is NASTY"
Conversation dropped.
I overhear her tell Karli "when you don't like something you're supposta pout, Like this" (I assume she showed her)
Karli says "but I wanted to pee"
Kelsi says "but if you don't like your bed just pout....then mommy wont be mad and she will know you don't like the store"


I'm impresses with how complex Kelsi's though process is!!

Up to no Good

I hear the girls giggling and being secretive at the bar while I was nursing Kaleb. I see Kelsi peaking out around the island.....
So I prompt "what are you girls doing?"
I am greeted my Karli giggling.
I say "Kelsi?!?!?" in a firm and questioning tone.
She says "You can't see us!!" In a how do you know tone.
I say "I'm the mom, I see everything"
She says "we were doing anything" (meaning we weren't doing anything)
Yeah...right.
SO I ask Karli....Who is full on giggling still "what were you doing?"
She says "you tant see me." with a cute grin.


(they were painting each other instead of paper w/ the water colors.)
I absolutely love when they work together to deceive me and get away with stuff. So long as it's safe I know it's just strengthening their bond with each other.

Cheap mommy

Kelsi walks into the living room with a barcode sticker and tells me "I'm gonna sell you mom"
I say "what? "
She says "or daddy, But you are home so I will sell you"
I ask "so how much do I cost"
She hands me a penny....and says "one money, and a princess sticker"
I say "wow, that princess sticker must be worth a lot"
She says "no, you're cheap"
I ask " what does cheap mean"
She says "it means I can buy it cuz you said"
So I ask "why do you want to sell me?"
She says "cuz you're a good mommy"
So I ask "so why don't you keep me?"
she says "I'm gonna buy you"


Yeah, she's gonna sell me, for cheap, to herself!!! Great Logic.

Dinner

Kelsi asks "mom why do you have to make dinner?"
I say "so we don't get hungry"
She says "well you could make cake instead"
I say "well egg rolls are much healthier than cake"
She asks "what about cookies?"

How to Eat A Horse

So around noon today Kelsi tells me "mommy I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"
So I ask "where are you gonna get a horse"
She says "from the farm"
So I make her and her sister a Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich. She ate half....
So I tell her "should I have made you horse instead?"
She says, "no."
I say "are you still hungry?"
She says "yeah I could still eat a horse"
I say "why don't you start with your sandwich"


Then I ask "how would you eat a horse?"
She says, "you chop off it's head because heads taste yucky, then you slice it up and eat it like bacon, but bacon is pig and I like bacon."
I say "Good to know"

Since When?!?!

We get home from the store and I tell Kelsi "unbuckle you and your sister and go upstairs"
I get the groceries up unlock the door set down groceries and go to unbuckle Kaleb....Kelsi says "I can't unbuckle" 
Me knowing she Always gets out just fine ask "Since when?!"in a slightly annoyed tone
Kelsi replies "Since we gotted home" matter of factly.

Puppy Cough

So Kelsi wakes up from her nap and tells me "mom, I made a puppy cough"
me; "where?"
Kelsi "in my room"
I brush it off like nothing and say "ok honey" thinking oh kay puppy coughing (teddy maybe?? I don't inquire further)
So in the car on the way to daddy's work she coughs (that barky seal cough)
"mom, I made a puppy cough again!!" she says excitedly
I laugh, hysterically, I've called it a "barking cough" and a "seal cough" in the past LOL it will now forever be puppy coughs LOL


So this morning I wake up and ask Matt "is Kelsi still coughing?"
He replied "she says she has a puppy cough, whatever that is"
I just Laughed
he said "What is this some inside joke??"
I laughed harder.

Modest Skeleton

When my daughters notice the quarter machines they ask for quarters(or whatever is in the machine), remembering how much I liked getting a stupid trinket I say ok, sometimes, today was a yes day.
"Mommy tan we have one of doze?" asks Karli
"sure" I reply....as I fish in my purse for a Quarter(2)
They both "win-ed" grow in water orange skeletons YAY!!!
we go to the car, we get home and they open them, they are in plastic wrap. 
Kelsi observes "mom, why are he covering his gina?"
me "what?!" I look and see this:

Sure enough.
So I say "His hands are in his lap"
She says "yeah he's covering his gina"
Me "yes SHE is" 
Her "mom he a BOY"
Me "how do you know?"
Kelsi says "he haves SHORT hair" points at his head

Peeing On Lunch

I made the girls and me lunch and sir grumpy butt was being a whiney baby so I took my lunch and went to bathe him---instant fix for a bad mood baby.
Anyhow water running and Kaleb pees, right on my plate :( So I scoop the peed part into the toilet and attempted to eat the rest....and couldn't do it. So I set my plate down and continue the bath. Karli walks in and sees the noodles in the toilet and asks "why are there noodles in the toilet?" I say "because the toilet was hungry" she gives me a look. I say "because brother peed on them and pee goes in the toilet" Karli gets a HUGE grin on her face and says "can I pee on the noodles?' I say "sure they are in the toilet" a couple seconds later she laughs and says "I poop-ed on the noodles too" .... I laugh.

Big Words

"Kelsi, what does polite mean?"
"when you be good"
"and what is naughty?"
"when your hair is tangly"
"what is outstanding?"
"what you wear when you go outside"

My little Turtle

Kelsi says "mommy look, I have a shell."
I look and see this:

So I say "you sure do" as I grab my camera

She smiles and says "I a turtle" and ducks into her shell

My Bath Friend

I'm bathing with the girls and Kelsi notices a mosquito floating....
she cries "a bug in your bath mommmmm"
so I say "he's my friend"
she give me a look and says "he a bug"
I sing (quoting scout) "me and my friend buggy, we like to do everything together like splash in the tub......"
Kelsi smiling splashes the bug, whom I have now picked up out of the water and put on the edge of the tub "he moved!!!!"
I say "yup" and get out of the bath, leaving her and her sister.
She sat in there staring at this bug, then she calls "mom, your friend bug is not moving" 
I say "oh ok, maybe he is sleeping"
she yells at the bug "WAKE UP BUG!!" turns to me and says "mom, he's not wakin' up"
Me "well he moved when you splashed him, he must be sleepy" as I get her out of the tub.
I exit the room......10 min later....
She enters the living room in her towel, she had been staring at the bug.
She says in a hate to break it to you sort of way "mom, your bug friend is dead"
I say "he is??!?! How do you know?"
she says "well he's not movin', and he's just dead mom, you can get a new bug friend"
I tell her that it is OK  and she goes to get her clothes on.

Searching for Stuff

Me "Kelsi have you seen my purse?"
Kelsi(4) "yeah"
Me "where is it?"
Kelsi "Anywhere"


Me "Karli have you seen my purse?"
Karli (2) "probby" (meaning probably)
Me "well, where is it?"
Karli "somewhere"


Neither one is much help, unless they are in the helpful mood or they really do know where something is.


For kicks I Just asked Kelsi
"Have you seen my feet?" (her back was turned to me)
Kelsi says "no"
I ask "well do you know where they are?"
she says "in your socks mom"

Body parts and why we have them

So to see what my 4yr olds idea of why we have each body part I asked
me- "Kelsi why do we have arm pits?"
Kelsi- "for ticklin'"
me- "and foreheads?"
Kelsi "for bangs"
Me- "and why do we have hair?"
Kelsi "for clippies"
Me "Why do we have butts?"
Karli "for poopin'"
Kelsi "and farts"
Me "karli why do we have fingers?
Karli "because........and I have a little pinky"
Me "why do we have boobs?"
Kelsi "for feeding babies" Karli "and ME"

Llama Eruption

We are driving down the road and
Karli says "A PUPPY"
I reply "Karli that's not a puppy" holding back snickers
she says "A COW"
full on Laughter I reply "Karli thats a llama."
Kelsi butts in "Lava's come out of acanos" (translation Lava comes out of volcanos)
Me- Picturing it raining llama's am literally rolling, I compose myself and say "Kelsi LAVA erupts out of a volcono, LLAMAS live at the farm"
she says "yeah but Jessita sayed one time that llama tomes out of acanos"

I'm all sticky

So I say "I'm gonna go shower"
Kelsi asks "why" 
I say- "because I'm all sticky and yucky"
she lifts up my pant leg touches my leg and asks "are you?"
I go shower
When I get out, she lifts my pant leg again feels my leg and looks at me like I'm crazy but doesn't say a thing.

Kelsi was a great sister from Day 1

Sure, My girls fight, and Kelsi will tell Karli to get into something that she knows I told her no to....and then I think back, to when Karli was born.


My husband came to visit me and Karli but because of the "swine flu" junk Kelsi could not come in.
I went out to the waiting area to see her.
I go give her a Big hug and say "i miss you big girl"
And Kelsi (2yrs) says- "where Karli go?"
I reply- "the nurses have her"
She says while pushing me away "well, go get her"
I explained that Karli was sick and she says "go mommy" 


I loved how understanding she was even at such a young age of the needs of a baby. 

What's that??

Starting back at old stuff they've said and will add in some current events as they unfold.


Kelsi how she learned how to actually tell boys from girls.


Kelsi (2) Walks in to our bedroom and my husband is just getting out of the shower, 
She asks "what's that?" as she points the straw she was just chewing on at my husbands penis.
My husband and I become like deer and headlights desperately looking at each other for an answer, we had not yet decided what to call it nor did we figure she would notice it anytime soon.
She chimes in "a tail?" and continues on her merry way. 
Meanwhile my husband and I about die laughing. 


On that day my husband became super private and Kelsi never brought up daddy's tail again. Occasionally she would see him getting out of the shower or walk on while he was peeing, 


Fast forward---
Kelsi (3.5) welcome new baby brother!!
He's wonderful, he has a belly cord which she thinks is nasty, and what we have chosen to call a penis, no hiding it during diaper changes!!
Well, his belly cord fell off and Kelsi says to her sister and I overhear
"Kaleb had a belly cord and it fell off and he has a penis and it's gonna fall off" 
I butt in "Kelsi why do you think his penis is going to fall off??" 
she replies "well his belly cord fell off and now he has a belly button so his penis will fall off and he will have a 'gina"
Me- "honey it doesn't work like that, Kaleb is a BOY"
Kelsi- "yeah, he has short hair" 
Me- "yup he does" and I dropped it.


Fast Forward---
Kelsi (4) "mom, Kaleb is a boy, daddy is a boy, you are a girl, Karli is a girl, and I am a girl"
Me- "what makes you so sure, I think you are a boy" I like to tease her
Kelsi- "no I a girl"
Me- "What makes you a girl?"
Kelsi- "I have long hair." 
Me- "well the little boy at the doctors office had long hair, was he a girl"
Kelsi- "no"
Me- "And grandpa has long hair is he a girl?"
Kelsi- with exasperation "NO" 
Me- "so how do you know they are boys?" 
Kelsi- "I don't know but they are."


Yet Another day---
Kelsi- "mom, Kaleb has a penis, Karli, you and me have 'gina's and Daddy has a tail"
Me (thinking UGH this again?!?!) "Kelsi daddy does not have a tail"
Kelsi- "Yes he do, it right here in his front." (as she points on herself)
Me- "that's not a tail Kelsi" LMAO
she just gave me a look of sheer confusion and slight annoyance, apparently I do not know my husbands body, and clearly she has a long memory!! 


Over the last 2 weeks and i'm not sure the exact conversations, but she now knows that boys have penises and girls have 'gina's that they are both private parts. I tried to explain that only mommy and daddy can wipe or clean her and that she needs to tell me if anyone touches her etc... She is young so IDK how well she got that part.

Welcome to Toddler Says What?!?!

Finally came up with a name for this long planned blog....As a mom of 2 toddlers and a baby I am often baffled, amused, humored and most definitely in love with everything my little darlings say. Toddler Says What, will hopefully make you laugh and help you to see the lighter side of life through the eyes of my daughters and soon my son.